Catholic Charities Spokane Blog

2009 is the International Year of Reconciliation.

The dictionary describes reconciliation thus: Opportunities to reestablish a friendship, restore a close relationship, or bring back harmony with a colleague after a disagreement. Rick Warren, author of The Purpose Driven Life, describes reconciliation in this way:

It is the most powerful miracle cure for broken relationships and broken lives…It defuses conflict, turns chaos into calmness, it quiets quarrels, it swaps your stress for serenity, it turns tension into tranquility, and produces peace of mind, rather than panic or pressure.

In essence, reconciliation is the restoration of peace–with others, and in your own heart. And both are important. Why? Because, unless you create peace in your own heart, no amount of education will enable you to create peace with others. Building walls around your heart will preclude your having the experience of empathy for how other people feel–the essential ingredient of reconciliation.

But, you might say, reconciliation is easier said than done. You are absolutely correct. It is easy to confess good intentions to reconcile, but much more difficult to translate your words into action. Reconciliation is not easy. This is why it is seemingly in short supply today.  But what good things in life come easy?

Rick Warren also has the following to say:

Many people are reluctant to reconcile strained relationships because they don’t understand the difference between forgiveness and trust, or the difference between reconciliation and resolution… In fact they are afraid that if they reconcile they will have to return to a hurtful or dysfunction relationship without any changes taking place.

You see, while resolution is the focus on the issues, reconciliation is a focus on the relationship. Reconciliation is not about trusting someone again, for trust is something that is earned through time. Rather, reconciliation is about forgiving people for their past actions: the realization that we are all infallible, capable of making mistakes, and sometimes swerve in the wrong direction. And thus, we would do well to give people a chance to earn back that trust, step-by-step and action-by-action.

So perhaps for 2009 it would be a good idea to look into our own hearts and make some reconciliation with others, perhaps family, former friends, or those who work around us.